The Wild Water War
by Octopus Ink
Summary: What happens when an innocent prank turns into a whole war between Ranma, Akane, and Ryoga? A wild, thrilling water fight that leads from their backyard to all over Nerima.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank-you for the wonderful reviews on my one-shot, **_**Never Give Up**_**. I hope this fun-filled fic will be amusing to you guys! :) P.S. For the record, Scapegoat means Target.**

Thursday afternoon. The air felt dry and my tongue was begging for the sweet taste of Kasumi's home-made lemonade. Akane and I's fathers were out with her sisters for an afternoon in downtown Tokyo, though I was sure that my old man only went to mooch for some food from the grocery store.

It was summer break for us, and while Akane was reading outside the only thing I could do was drum my fingers on the dinner table. _Could this day get any more boring…_ I thought to myself. It was _sooo _hot, and there was no way that I'd change into a girl just to get a splash of cold water.

Oh, I'm so sorry, did I forget to mention that _Ryoga_ just conveniently stopped by on another one of his journeys? Well, he did, and you and I both know the real reason he was there.

"H-hi, Ak-an-e," I heard him stutter outside.

"Oh, hi Ryoga!" She cheerfully replied.

_How uncute…_ was all I could say about that. Hey…I know what you're thinking! I'm _not_ jealous!

"Say, Ryoga, where's Ranma? He should really get some sun. It's so beautiful out."

"Not sure." His face flushed red. "Ranma?" He called.

"What do you want Ryoga?" I croakily replied, even thought I knew perfectly well what _he_ wanted.

I heard his stupid, pig-boy, foolish footsteps running inside. "Akane thinks you should get some sun." His smile disappeared. "Ranma, why are you frowning?"

I chuckled. "I was just thinking maybe _you_ should get some sun, with your waxy skin. You could use a tan, eh, P-Chan?"

"Shut up, Akane's out there." His hand cracked into a fist. "She could've heard you!"

My eyes narrowed. "As if that tomboy could put two and two together."

"Speaking of Akane like that, I will not have it!" Ryoga scowled.

And before I knew it, I was booted into the horizon. This meant war.

***

"This'll get 'em good." I mumbled, snickering. I crept along the side of the house, and peeked out from behind a tree.

Akane and Ryoga were sitting on the grass right by the pong chatting. Well, Akane at the least, was talking, completely oblivious to the fact Ryoga was practically frothing at the mouth while gazing at her.

_Ryoga you fool..._I thought. Either way, this super secret plan of mine was going to do the trick. I quickly eyed what they were wearing, just in case any of it was super expensive. Ryoga was wearing his usual pants and tank top, while Akane her white shorts and pale green t-shirt. _Perfect, nothing they'd kill me over._

Behind me were two long hoses, one filled with hot for Ryoga; I wasn't going to be evil enough to reveal his alter-identity in front of Akane, and then the other hose was filled with cold to drench Akane with. I'd spray them each with one and then bolt for it. I decided I'd shoot Akane first, smiling. This would get her back for…well, you know, for…umm,

Suddenly, while I was trying to think of a grudge I was holding against Akane, I had slightly moved the leg I was using to kink the hoses. The hose with cold water blasted at _both _of them, completely knocking them into the pond. Akane had been hit first and was thrust back before she could see Ryoga shape shift into the little black piglet everyone loved.

I ran out onto the grass, to find Ryoga nowhere to be seen and Akane pulling herself out of the pond.

"Ranmaaaa! You idiot! What did you do that for?" I felt a cold, wet hand slap my cheek. She stood there before me, glowering and sopping wet.

"Uh, I, I,"

But before I could finish, ice water blasted at my back, hurling me forwards into Akane, knocking her over once more. I turned around to see Ryoga standing by my prank hoses, obviously pointing the cold towards me, and holding the hot one over his now, transformed back to human head. My now soaking ruby bangs covered my eyes and I couldn't see. I felt weight move to my chest, and realised that my wish of not turning into a girl today had been denied.

Akane, on the other hand, I could hear laughing. "Oh Ryoga, you trickster."

Bubbles of heat popped inside my stomach. "You laugh when _he_ shoots you with water, but when _I_ shoot you with it you slap me?"

"No, I laugh when he shoots _you_ with water." She laughed.

"Give up Ranma, you can't aim. I'm sure Mousse would have more accuracy without his glasses on than you." Ryoga's drawling voice came from behind me.

"You wanna bet?" I replied.

"Yeah, loser buys the winner ice cream." Ryoga smirked.

"Can I join your team Ryoga?" Akane asked hopefully.

"Of course." He shot me another mocking look.

It was my turn to smirk. "Ok, Ryoga, I'll just shoot you and _Akane_ with lots of icy, _**cold**_ water."

Instantly, his smile vanished. "New Rule!" he proposed. "I get the cold water hose and you get the hot."

I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Pig-boy."

Ryoga's eyes darted to Akane, who didn't catch any of the hints.

"Let the Water War begin!" He announced.

***

I was on the roof laying low, a bucket of hot water in my hand, which I had, oh, just, dripped on my head to turn me back into a guy. Obviously, I couldn't just carry a hose around with me, they'd follow my trail. And that's when it hit me. They were probably stupid enough to take their hose with them, and all I had to do was simply follow the streamline.

I hopped down and saw that it was leading inside. _Inside?_ I thought. _Why would they want to take the game inside?_

It lead me all the way upstairs, until it had reached a room so forbidden to me, so familiar but so alien, that entering seemed like a horrible idea. It was Akane's bedroom. But wait, why were they in Akane's bedroom? To shoot through the window? I peered under the door. The lights were off and I couldn't see anyone's feet. I slowly opened the door. The hose continued on, all the way into…_Akane's closet._

Anger burned from the pit of my stomach to my pupil's. If Ryoga even dared…oh he was going to get it bad. I raced over to it and swung the door aside. A bucket of cold water dropped on my head. I pulled it off instantly, and in black marker scribbled on the side read "Gotcha! P.S. We created names for the teams."

Score: The Tidal Wave Two: 1 Saotome Scapegoat : 0

I filled their bucket with water from the hose they had abandoned and slung it over my back. I leaped from her window to the roof and raced back to my hose. I lay down on my belly and magically, yes, magically pulled out some binoculars (**lol)** and gazed around for the 'Tidal Wave Two'. Something stuttered to my right, I bolted the binoculars in the direction and saw half of Ryoga's leg hanging out of the tree, then instantly pulling itself back into hiding. I unkinked my hose and blasted it towards the tree. Ryoga fell out making a large thud. All I needed to do was find Akane and shoot her, and then I'd have my point.

It was shortly after Ryoga grumbled and got up and ran away that I noticed something was blocking the wind coming from behind me. I spun around and saw Akane ready to shoot her hose at me. But before she could, I splashed her with the bucket I had been splashed with not too long ago.

Score: The Tidal Wave Two: 1 Saotome Scapegoat: 1

"This isn't over yet, Ranma." She smiled and ducked down. I crawled quickly to that side of the roof and looked down. She was nowhere to be seen.

I smiled. "You're right Akane, this is only the beginning."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Heyyyyyy YOWZA! I am SO sorry I haven't updated quickly or updated at all for that matter, I've been working on huge assignments and studying for school, I've been harassed on fanfiction over forged reviews, and **_**was**_** helping someone with their story…but since all of that is over I should be updating much more quickly now! Hope you enjoy. Unfortunately this is short and not too great, but next chapters will be way bettah. I just wanted to make sure you know I didn't DIE. ~Octopus Ink**

Out of nowhere, a water balloon came out of nowhere and landed right next to me. _That darn Ryoga, gone to the next level._ I leapt from our rooftop to the next, dodging balloons that were still being mysteriously thrown.

I turned my head around. "Nyah-nah! Try and catch me, Ryoga!" Yes, unfortunately for me, that was the moment I ran into a pole and fell off the roof.

As I lay on the cement still stunned and twitching, someone yanked my pigtail and pulled me into a small space between two buildings. "Ranma honey, what are you doing being chased by water balloons?"

"Oh, hey Ucchan."

"Just answer the question."

"Um, possibly having a water fight between Ryoga, Akane and myself." I replied, wiping my brow.

"Great." She smiled. "I want in."

"I don't know, Ukyo. This is kind of a fight between men."

"Akane isn't a man." Ukyo defended, strangely enough.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but you have to join my team."

She smiled even wider. "Great! What's our team called?"

"The…Saotome…Scapegoat."

"Not any more we're not!" And with that, she pulled out her spatula, but this was no ordinary spatula. It was a container in the shape of a spatula filled with water. "We are the _Sweetheart Soakers!_"

I thought about it for a second. "Um, no."

"_Darling drenchers?" _She suggested again.

I paused again. "How about the _Drizzling Duo_?"

She did not look pleased. "Fine."

We lurked around, hiding behind trees, watching for a trace of Akane or Ryoga. "Ranma honey, look!" Ukyo pointed over a fence. Akane and Ryoga had their backs to us, holding watering cans.

"So the little sneaks think that watering cans will fool us! Tough luck!" I said proudly.

"Come on, Ranma!" Ukyo said, grabbing my arm. We were racing towards them.

"Time for _me_ to show you whose boss!" Ukyo chanted, twirling her water filled spatula and shooting it at them.

Water hurled out the end of it, soaring through the air and splashed on Akane and Ryoga like mud on a pig.

They both coughed and doubled over, dropping their watering cans. I felt the grass. It was cold. Which meant, the water in Ukyo's spatula was cold water, but Ryoga was not changing into a pig? They rolled over and revealed their faces, showing us not Akane and Ryoga, but two elderly **women.**

"Crouch of the wild tiger!" I roared, getting into the forgiveness position.

"I am so sorry ma'am, and you, ma'am. I am _sooooo_ sorry! I can't believe-I'm so sorry!" Ukyo wailed, helping them up.

"It's quite alright dear, as long as the boy gives me a kiss on the cheek." The Ryoga-like woman asked.

I stopped bowing. "Wha-wha-_what?_"

But before she could even blink, a flood of water came down on Ukyo and I.

"Shame on you, Ranma! Drenching two, poor, old ladies!" Ryoga's mocking voice came from somewhere.

Score: The Tidal Wave Two: 2 The Drizzling Duo: 1

"We aren't _that_ old!" The Akane-like woman shouted angrily, throwing a washboard at a tree, revealing Ryoga and Akane's hiding place.

_Exactly like Akane,_ I thought.

"And _who_ are you? Where did that charming young boy go?" The Ryoga-like woman pointed at me.

I shuddered. "Sorry, lady. No time to explain. Let's go Ukyo!"

"I'm way ahead of you, Ranma honey." She declared, shooting water at them.

"Ahh!" Ryoga cried, dodging it.

"Wait, Ukyo." I grabbed her shoulder and got her to face me. "We can only score if we shoot them with hot water. If we don't, he'll turn into P-Chan!"

"So?" She demanded.

"It wouldn't be fair to…_expose_ him in front of Akane!"

"You're just afraid Akane will fall in love with the real P-Chan, aren't you?"

My eyes narrowed. "Actually, Ukyo, Ryoga's my friend and I won't betray his trust, ever."

"Oh, Ranma, I'm sorry." Her face fell, and I released my poker face. Er . . . forget I said that.

"Too bad you don't have the nerve to cheat eh _Ranko?" _Said Ryoga mockingly.

"Hey, Ranma?" Ukyo asked, interrupting him and making sure I wouldn't scream back.

"What?"

"Where's Akane?" She gasped. "What if she got eaten by a…a polar bear!"

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoffed. "Polar bears don't live in Japan. It was more likely a Grizzly Bear."

"True, true." She agreed.

But a bucket of freezing water galoshed on top of our heads.

Score: The Tidal Wave Two: 3 The Drizzling Duo: 1

"_Damnit,"_ I said, growling as fierce as possible in my shrill female voice.

I looked back at Ryoga, who was laughing hysterically. Forgetting all sympathy I had for the pig boy, I snatched Ukyo's spatula and blasted water as hard as I could. Squealing in the pool of water was the pathetic little black pig. Now I just had to splash Akane.

"Ranma! What happened to betraying his trust?" Ukyo demanded, but secretly smiling.

"Uh," before I could answer Akane had appeared out of nowhere, cradling the obliging little piglet.

"P-Chan!" I heard her giggle. "What are you doing here? And why are you all wet?"

Seeing her eyes narrow, I ducked into a bush.

"_Ranma_ did this, didn't he? Poor baby," she said, putting him down. "I'll get him for you, won't I little cutie pie?"

As she started bolting in my direction, I grabbed the bucket of hot water –which I stashed earlier – from my shirt (A/N Don't ask lol) and shook it out at her.

"Ugh!" She wailed.

Score: The Tidal Wave Two: 3 The Drizzling Duo: 2

"Hahaha! Looks like the jokes on you, Akane!" Ukyo laughed, coming out of hiding. I quickly stealthed away, and dumped the rest of the hot water on P-Chan, for his sake.

"That's not funny, Ukyo! Ranma drenched my poor, innocent, little-" I could have puked. "P-Chan!"

"Well, then maybe I should come to your side!"

"_What?"_ I demanded, running back with Ryoga hot on my heels.

"Well, Ranma, you know I'm competitive and you aren't exactly winning. I'm switching sides."

"Fine with me," Akane smirked.

"And to begin again-" Ryoga added. "Why don't we give you a welcome gift!" He said, washing her down with a water gun, then pointed it at me.

"Hey!" She yelped.

"THE TEAMS STAY THE SAME!" He shouted, squirting me, grabbing Akane's arm and running away.

Score: The Tidal Wave Two: 4 The Drizzling Duo: 1

This just got better and better. NOT.

**A/N: So, you get cookies if you read and review. If you recommend you get even more cookies, possibly even some milk. ;)**


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